Like yell at my kid....for something your kid does all the fucking time.
Logan is rambunctious, we know that...and i think we handle it very well thank you very fucking much.

This kid.....oh man this kid. She lives a couple houses down, when she moved in, Lily was so excited to have a girl friend only a couple houses down. That was short lived. right from the beginning, there was bad behavior. Hitting, manipulation, attitude, not respect for adults, and inappropriate language/gestures (not cussing, more sexual in nature). She even pulled her pants down and showed my kids her vagina. Of course, she lied, told her mom that she thought she tinckled in her pants and was checking. No fucking way.She is constantly getting in trouble at preschool for hitting and acting out and such. So, you're thinking "why the hell are you still allowing them to play together". That is a good question. I feel that my kids GOOD behavior rubs off on her, which it has, her mother has told me that. AND Lily really needs a girl friend to play with. Also, showing them the difference between good decisions (my kids) and bad decisions (this girl) is great. I even wrote a request to the school asking my kids not to be in the same class as her next year, as i see that she is surely going to be a bully and bad influence. My kids on't know how to be mean and i don't want them not meeting NICE kids because they go right to her because they already knew her.

This kid is a monster, but I feel bad for her. Single mom, living with a man (who apparently has had repeated problems with law for drunken domestic abuse with his ex-wife), that has a minimum wage job and has only been sober for 3 years (with a 5 year old kid). I mean, she even has come over to my house because to bathe because the shitty boyfriend didn't pay the utility bills and they had no hot water to bathe the kid....So, I have her come over, watch her every so often when her mom has to run out to the store, even offered to pick her up from school next year and letting her hang out here until an adult came home. Well, fuck that now....

Yes, I let me kids play outside unsupervised. Yes, they do not have a bed time in the summer. And yes, I am OK with these choices. Kids need to play, get dirty, explore, be confident on their own and not be scared of the damn world. It's annoying to see these parents hover over their kids, like they are morons, like they can't make decisions on their own, like they are made of fucking glass. My kiddos have rules, obviously. They aren't allowed to talk to adults that are not on my aprroved list of people in the neighborhood. They cannot go into any houses without asking me first. They can't go into the street, and there are boundaries on the sidewalk that ends the approved area of play. Of course they had broken the rules. They've knocked/rang door bells when they shouldn't have, (Logan) and were appropriately punished. Lily got caught in the street (don't worry, it was in our circle, not the street street) and couldn't ride he bike for a week (torture)

So now for the yelling. After dinner Logan asked if he could go play with the neighbor girl. I said yes. About 5 minutes later he came home in tears, crying and so upset set..... He went over there, knocked, and i guess he didn't knock loud enough. He walked in (as she fucking does at our house all the damn time) Well, the bastard boyfriend yelled out Logan to "get the hell out of his house". How is that an appropriate fucking response? Have i done that to their kid when she just comes in, with out even knocking? No way! I don't yell at other people's kids, fucker. THEN when i went there to have Logan apologize for coming in, he bastard yells at me. I told him that his response isn't appropriate for the situation and that he shouldn't have yelled at someone else child. He's god damn luck Damon wasn't home. No, Jersey Jessica didn't come out. I don't bring her out in front of my kids.

fuck them
fuck that brat
fuck that drunk

Today I "made" s'mores pops.

I've been so excited to make these, I bought the ingredients last week in preparation :)

Basically you get premade dough, cut some squares, put chocolate, marshmallow and a stick inbetween two squares. Whatever, easy.

Dough went easily enough, then I placed the chocolate and marshmallows on top of the square, now for the failures

1) Recipe called for 10 marshmallows, yeah right, only 6 fit.

2) you are supposed to fold up sides of these dough pieces and press with a fork making this cute ravioli type closure.... only there isn't enough dough along the edges to make a full seal. I had to reduce the amount of chocolate from 3 pieces to 2 and the marshmallows to 4. Ugh.

At this point I got annoyed and was not being gentle with my dough, my husband has to step in. I proceeded to make s'mores in my mouth with the extra pieces of chocolate and marshmallow that should have been in the pops... Teehee

We slapped some egg whites on the tops of these babies and cooked at 12 minutes. Later we enjoyed a mildly chocolatey, not at all marshmallowy, dough pouch.

Her are some photos

The dough
My supplies
Precooked pops. I made the huge one in the front, Damon did the rest while I ate chocolate and watched
There you go. Eh
Today is a sad day for me. I got into a shit slinging fight....I won, but still, it wasn't a fight I picked or wanted to be in.

Lets re-cap.
I will refer to myself as me and the other party as troglodyte (to protect anonymity, although it is a great descriptor)

begin-a nice invitation to make the lives of many people safer and less toxic (me)
snarky random comment for troglodyte
genuine comment from me, followed by a civil calling out of the snarky comment after a retrospective thought
total and utterly inaccurate insulting comments about myself and my kids (whom are 5)

Jersey Jessica comes out. Hello Jersey Jessica, haven't had any blood lately? Well, have your fill this is an easy one.

So, on it went, basically all troglodyte could say is that my 5 year olds were hoodlums (barney teaches gang symbols I guess, or maybe it's their christian preschool that does...) and that my business sucks (I have 6 shows between now and the 31st)....that I poop near couches (not sure how to respond to that, but I'll gladly fulfill that request), I say fuck a lot (mostly written, but I can verbally bust out some nice catch phrases) and my husband doesn't call me a million times a day because he can (I think troglodyte meant CAN'T, but I'm fairly sure he's been drinking....and that still doesn't make sense)

Now, I'm out for blood and pull out all of my little known secrets about this person (this battle is in the bag)
Let's talk about troglodyte's list of "this is why I'm a shitty person" and compare it to mine
employee in a field of which drinking can be an issue
driven drunk
driven drunk with my kids in the car
driven my kids (under age 9) to a public pool, then passed out
Pissed all over my families furniture because of black out drinking
Has double income family, yet most bills are not paid on time (second notices and such, not talking a few days) but buys extravagant un-needed selfish things
Reneged on a childs birthday plans because they purchased expensive sports season passes
Doesn't cuss often

Spouse has literally kicked them out of the marital bed due to drunkness
Has a child that has been brought home by the police (has a record)
Has a child that has been tested positive for drugs

So insecure that they must call their spouse 10+ times a day
Churchly person, goes as often as possible

Nope, just a stay at home mom
Nope, rarely drink
Nope, don't drink around my kids
Again, nope. Guess I'm strange

Well, in college, I once puked in my back pack.... time there was an anthrax problem in my post office and a payment arrived 2 weeks late, about 10 years ago
My kids come first when it comes to "wants"

You got me there...I do, so fuck you and the horse you rode in on
Nope, again, responsible person....

Again, mine are only 5, but I strive to nip all potential issues at the bud
Nope, again, no one in my family has or would ever test positive for and drug
Great marriage. Super secure person. Yay therapy!

Got me there, although I do enjoy church, I don't like being up nope...
So, the unfortunate part of this attack is it did nothing for troglodyte other than admitting in a social forum that he has driven drunk (ooops, better hope future employers don't do a thorough internet check), has strained a valuable relationship between myself and his spouse (that might have been his intention, but he's not too bright, so I doubt he could have thought that far into it). All troglodyte's dirty laundry got aired and he got his proverbial butt kicked by a little girl. So sad.

As for my husband's take on this, he reigns me in if I get too upset, but is glad I can defend myself and that Jersey Jessica has only been bottled up in Nebraska and can still come out when needed.

After this event, I'm upset, emotionally spent, feeling superior and VERY grateful that I am married to my husband and not a troglodyte. Oh and my therapist will earn his fee at our next session dissecting this fun-ness.
I had done a good bit of Christmas shopping online this year, which was AWESOME, I highly recommend it. I thought I was in good shape, boy was I wrong!

We got the gifts out yesterday to make sure everything was even, having twins, being even is VERY important. We got some BIG stuff. An indoor basketball game for the basement, doll house for princess, tool bench for buddy, etc. Now, as far as gifts to unwrap....pitiful.

Off I go to the stores next week to fill in the gaps. Luckily I found this AWESOME app for my iPhone that i just tested out at walmart whist I did some re-con with the kiddos. Basically, you scan an item and it tell you the lowest price online and lowest price in nearby stores. It uses your location service (make sure you enable it) to determine the nearby store and even tells you if its in stock. So tested it on some mobigo games. I was able to find a better price at other stores for almost all of them. The app is call shop savvy. I heard about it on a day time TV show. It's freeeeee ;)

Next week while the kids are at preschool I am on a mission. I will get this gift buying season conquered ASAP.

three posts in a row that I'm not ranting in? wow!
So, your kids are a reflection of you, why do you dress them like hobos? Seriously, I'm not the richest person in town, but I can put my kids in matching outfits.... they don't to be rocking the latest trends guys. No need for baby Uggs and Bebe outfits. A nice target outfit or two will do them just fine....hell you can find some decent stuff at walmart these days...
OK, everything matches is jeans, literally, everything, when in doubt throw a pairs of jeans on the kids and call it a day. In what world does green leggings with ugly animals on them match with a purple polka dotted shirt?
Now, I know I suck at doing hair and my child looked ragged before we decided to keep her hair in a bob. But you know what? I FIXED THE PROBLEM, and I did it early on. Why on earth would you dress your kids in mismatched, over sized, holey clothing? Go to a consignment shop (I do), a nice pair of brand name jeans.....$4 tops.
People are judging them, and you. Once these kids get to school, their peers will be judging them daily, to get picked for games on the play ground, to go to birthday parties, be liked in general. Guess what, their teachers judge them. they do, trust me. All those kids with the nice clothes and perceived "well off" families got better treatment by teachers when I was a kid. If you didn't notice it, then you were one of those kids.
Next year is kindergarten folks, the big time. Where it all starts. Don't give your kids a handicap from the beginning by letting them look like dirtballs. You better believe me, I'll be at the mall this summer, hitting the sales. Getting the brand name stuff (on sale, with coupons, supplementing with consignment finds). I will do it out of love, to give my kids a good start in what will be a very difficult time. They need to fit in socially, which is hard no matter how much money your parents have..... so there is no need to tip off the world that they don't fit in economically.
You might think I'm a cunt, but I tell it like it is. Take it from on of those kids that didn't have the nice brand name cool clothing. I even had one twunt (my new word) catch me trying to lie where I got my clothes, turn me around, look at the label and then call me out to everyone. So, yes, I'll say it, APPEARANCES MATTER. We all try to put on rose colored glasses and pretend that we're better than that, but it's just not the case and we all have to understand that life isn't fair.

Now, I'm not THAT evil. I teach me kids differently. I teach them that we are all the same, that everyone deserves to be played with equally, no matter what they look like. But peer pressure is s strong force, and not all parents teach their kids to love everyone. Eventually.....maybe second grade, these differences will be noticed and cliques will form and that is it. Once that happens, you're labeled and it is hard to dig yourself out once that happens. Take it from a labeled kid. I had to move 1/2 across the country before me labels were completely removed. They aren't external labels, you can get the nice clothing and hair, but they have now seeped in. You BECOME what you're labeled and you have to figure out who you really are.

My husband asked me what I was blogging about. He informed me that the purple shirt green legging situation may have just been a kid picking out their own outfit. I understand that, and maybe I'm an asshole. Maybe that was the kids play clothing and they wore the cute stuff to school. but I highly doubt it in this situation. My son can come with some gnarly outfits on his own. The latest being a red shirt, yellow addias athletic shorts and blue and green rain boots with frogs on them. I let him do it... when we are at home, but I'm with it enough as a mom to get his act together before we leave the house. 

feel free to comment, i imagine this is a hot button issue.
I've been miserably sick. First cold of the season I guess. And during this cold I noticed a few things.

I'm a WIMP when I'm sick. I big giant baby. Which isn't good when you have you own babies to take care of.

The rules for a sick mom are not that same as a sick dad. In fact, it's flat out ridiculous what is expected of a mom even though she feels bad. Like seriously, do you really want me sick ass touching the clean dishes, dumb ass.

I have AMAZINGLY good kids. I explained to them that I was sick and instantly they were well behaved, listening, and trying to take care of me. They didn't complain about me not interacting with them at all, I hid in my room unless I had to deal with something, like feeding and bathing. I didn't want to spread my germs to him if i could help it at all.

FLASHBACK TIME: When the babies were like 2 months old I got the flu. The real, hard core, body ache flu. They weren't even 10 lbs yet, they were so tiny, I couldn't do ANYTHING with them and my husband could not get any time away from work and I had no family within 1000 miles. So I put a bandana over my face when i changed their diapers, no hugging, kissing, holding, just right to business and back into their cribs. THEN to feed them, not only did i use the bandana, I washed my hands, grabbed plastic bags, put them around my hand, taped them on, made the food and fed them while I had these bags on my hands. They would cry in their cribs, I would open the door (bandana on my face), lysol wipes on door knobs, checked to make sure thing were OK and they just were crying for attention. Then i would shut the door and literally collapse in front of their door and try to rest. It was terrible.

Back to my less horrible sickness, i was still about to.....DESPITE my illness, give them a bath two nights in a row, brought my son to hockey practice and got him all geared up and then hand washed his hockey gear. I highly doubt any dad would do ANY of that when they felt like I did.
Oh did i mention that my daughter pissed her pants during his practice.....15 minutes in? Yeah, I'm the horrible mom that make her kids sit in pissy pants in the bleachers while her other kid plays.I think she learned a valuable lesson today. I remember being in kindergarten pissing myself and having to sit in it at the nurses office until my mom got there. Hopefully she will remember this and not do it in kindergarten.

putting this cold in the prospective of my 2008 flu, it was nothing. I AM a wimp.
also.....the word wimp needs to have an H in it....

rantings, mom advice, product reviews,