I HATE Sam's club. Don't get me wrong, I'm a member and i shop there often, like weekly, but I feel dirty after every trip; dirty like after a one night stand with a homeless man.

They treat you like you're robbing them blind and it pisses me off to no end.
They start as you walk in, they have some old person standing at the door waiting like a funnel spider to jump out and attack you about showing your card. First of all, you know what buddy, I have two young kids, and it's fucking raining, so no, I'm not going to dig through my giant car/candy/pony filled purse to PROVE  to YOU that i belong there. Second of all, you cannot purchase a damn thing without the cashier swiping your card, so why do i need to show you before i enter? I COULD understand them asking for the card during the "business" members (who pay more money for their membership), but not during regular business hours. Well guess what buddy, I'm not fiddling in my purse in the rain/show/heat/cold to show you, some retiree, my fucking card. I don't care if you call after me annoyed as i walk past you after directly telling you "i have one, thank you", your job/life sucks, so blow me.

Then the fuckers get you on the way out, seriously, i bought milk and apples, why the fuck do you need to look at my receipt? OK, these people don't even LOOK at what you got, they just draw their smiley face a pretend to look. I'm not waiting in ANOTHER LINE (the check out lines are always long) 5 cards deep, for you to pretend to look at my 2 items for $7.00 an hour, again, blow me.
I had one asshole TAKE my receipt out of my 4 y/o daughters hand and then refuse to give it back to me, all because i was scooting past him as he was talking to another employee instead of being ready to check my receipt. No, old man, I am not going to wait on your to finish your chat about the good old days so you can confirm that bought 3 gallons of milk, again, blow me.
Last i checked it's illegal to detain an American citizen without reason. I know for a fact that if a loss prevention person at the mall stops you and detains you and you did not in fact steal anything, it can be a lawsuit, or at the very least a $500 gift card and a blow job. So why does Sam's club get to make me feel like a criminal every time i shop there? They should at least throw out some sexual favors for my troubles.

So, unless the poor sap that stuck on receipt duty is standing there, with no line, not chatting, i will not be stopping, I will scoot by you, and if you call after me, i just might give you the finger.


07/07/2012 10:21pm

Having been the fare checker at a Sam's club I can only agree with this bullshit. Its not just a hassle for the member its a pain in the ass job for the associate. I am a plus member so I get in early, I cant tell you how many times the checker is too busy pouring coffee to legitimately check my card before telling me that its business members times. Fuck you. That being said, I legitimately checked peoples carts,because where I worked we tad a shit ton of theft..just my two cents


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