My kids say so many strange things throughout the day I feel like the rest of the world needs to be included in this circus that is my life.

I had decided to dedicate a section of my blog to the retardation that comes from my kids mouths. there will be days with multiple entries and days with nothing. Most of these entries will be prefaced with a description of the situation or followed by an explanation of why I am not a horrible parent.

At this current point in time my kids are 5.5 years old. Logan and Lily, they are twins. 1 boy and 1 girl, both typically developed, run of the mill, beautiful children. Before you get all stalk-y on these gorgeous and funny kids, I need to point out to you readers that we have guns, my husband is an expert marksman and we shoot to kill. So no creepy stalking, fuckers.


I put sunscreen on my kids before they went outside to play.
Lily: did you put it under my arms mom?
me: yes
Logan: what about my armpits mom?
me: your armpits are covered (referring to his shirt)
Logan: yup, because of all my hair
me: right logan, you're a hairy hairy man

now, after typing this, i realize that its not as funny in words that is was when it happened. whatever fuckers, this shit was funny to me. deal.

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